Sweetheart Saturday|All About the Spice

I know that relationships change over time. They grow, evolve, dynamics shift, routine sets in. I understand it can’t be all passion and chemistry. There has to be a foundation for the relationship to last in situations that passion and chemistry aren’t enough. That said, I can’t help but miss the dating period of our relationship. When it was fun and new and we’d try out new places and things. Go for walks, talk, and spend time together just the two of us. It’s easy to let the day to day take over once you’ve been together for a while. You get comfortable, you live together, wake up next to each other, come home to each other.

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Being comfortable with each other is one thing but you don’t want to let it get to the point that you don’t make time for one another or that you take the other person’s company for granted. In order for any type of relationship to be successful you have to put work into it. Make time for one another (one on one). Don’t think of all of the reasons that you can’t, think of ways that you can. There’s a reason the relationship grows and moves beyond the infatuation phase. A long lasting relationship can’t thrive off of infatuation, chemistry and excitement alone (but it’s nice to have all of those components).

I’m going to try to help you come up with ways to remember what it was like when things were fresh, exciting and new in your relationship. When you couldn’t stop smiling when their name popped up on your phone. When it seemed like an eternity until the next time you saw them. Back to a time that the very thought of that person made you giddy. Maybe you are still in that phase, enjoy it because it is so much fun! We’ve been together going on 9 years and we still have a lot of fun together but one on one time isn’t as plentiful we’d like right now. So here’s a link to take it back to a time of butterflies in your stomach and silly grins on your face.

30 day relationship challenge to spice things up


What are your thoughts on this post? Do you make it a point to have one on one time with your partner? How often? How long have you been together? What do you do to rekindle the fire in the relationship? Feel free to share your tips in the comments!

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24 thoughts on “Sweetheart Saturday|All About the Spice

  1. Good points. By choice I’ve not been in a relationship for a few years however the best ones I’ve had were from being genuine friends. There are people who consider themselves fortunate to find the “love of their life” so I felt like I hit the jackpot with not one but two relationships built on mutual trust, respect and most of all friendship.

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  2. Niki, there’s another side to all this–seeking normalcy when a loved one has chronic health issues. Find a way to do things together that bring simple joy such as a trip to the grocery store, even if one pushes a walker and one the cart. Do you see what I mean? Even young couples may face this in their lives.

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  3. I love this! We’ve been together for 10 years this past February, and with two little girls, it’s sometimes hard to get back to that honeymoon phase without taking one another for granted. One thing we started doing was taking mommy/daddy trips. We are lucky to have my parents take my girls for a long weekend while we travel somewhere neither of us have been. We started last year with Niagara Falls, and we are headed to Boston in 3 weeks. Great post and suggestions!

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    1. I’m glad you guys have found a way to get your one on one time! One of my favorite memories is of our anniversary trip to Vegas a few years ago. We almost didn’t go because I felt selfish leaving my daughter but then I thought about it and it was one long weekend for us…best trip ever! I can’t look back at the pictures without smiling 🙂

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  4. I wrote a blog post all about my husband, but have kept it as a draft. Just last night I read it to him, and for maybe the fourth time in 15 years, I saw a tear in his eye. I wasn’t sure how he’d react, but I am so happy I shared it with him. That early-relationship giddiness can’t be maintained, so true, but depth and constancy do need a little shot in the arm once in awhile. This is a good reminder. Thanks, Niki.

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    1. It shouldn’t but that’s easier said than done sometimes. You get so engrossed in the day to day that things start taking a backseat. It’s good to evaluate and prioritize because things get shuffled around and forgotten sometimes 😉

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  5. Good reminders Niki! My husband and I are best friends, and have been married 26 years. I feel like a lucky girl, that we love spending time together. Marriage or being with someone for a long time goes through many phases, some more challenging than others. It’s not all roses. But we’ve managed to get through difficult times, and keep each other laughing and comforted 🙂 Hope you’re having a great weekend! Jenny

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    1. That is so inspiring! 26 years! Friendship is a very important part of marriage. I’m glad we’re both able to say we’re married to our best friend! The tricky part for us personally is finding time to spend alone together. We don’t have any family nearby and don’t know anyone well enough to leave the girls with for a couple of hours. By the time the girls are in bed we are so tired from the day sleep usually wins us over. I think that dynamic will change for us soon as our work hours change in May. Thanks for sharing your experience, always nice to hear from you Jenny! Have a great rest of your weekend!

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      1. Thanks Niki! That’s got to be difficult not to feel comfortable leaving your girls with anyone. We were fortunate to have lots of family close by. I hope it gets easier when your schedules change. But remember that this phase won’t last forever. It’ll go by in the blink of an eye, and then you’ll be empty nesters like us 🙂

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      2. That’s true, my 7 year old is eager to babysit. Considering she’s 6 years older than her sister, I’ll definitely take her up on that offer should it last once she’s of appropriate babysitting age 😉 Yeah we just don’t know a lot of people and the people we know aren’t in the same phase in life. We used to live 20 minutes from my mom and rarely had her watch our daughter because she’s young and I want her to enjoy the phase she’s in not watch my kids all of the time. So we just need to be creative with time spent together at home and try to take a nap to make the most of the time when the girls go to bed 🙂

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