Teachable Tuesday|The Power of Accountability

I read a book for the Life Coaching course I’m in and came across a part that really hit home. I’ve opened up in the past about struggling with depression, one of the things that I dealt with was being a victim of circumstances. Whenever anything bad happened I always searched for someone to blame, anyone but myself. There was always a series of events, an untimely incident, an unfortunate situation, and unsuspecting person that I was able to place the blame on. It was so much easier for me to feel wronged and stay in my comfortable hole to wallow in when I didn’t have to point the flashlight at myself.

As my mentality changed and I learned to shift the focus of my thoughts towards more positive things, I also learned a valuable lesson. If I blamed others for the bad things that happened and my own shortcomings, I also had to thank them for anything positive that happened in my life. How could everyone and everything else be in charge of unhappiness, being caught in a series of unfortunate events, and bad things always happening to me but turn around and take credit for the good things that happened in my life? I realized that I needed to be accountable for my actions and the consequences of my actions.That wasn’t something I was used to doing, and it was very uncomfortable at first.

I had to take a look at my life and accept responsibility for it. I’d put the state of my happiness, fulfillment and everything in between in the hands of others. I blamed my unhappiness on their inabilities and my lack of fulfillment on circumstances. Once I was able to enter that uncomfortable place of accepting responsibility and becoming accountable to myself going forward things began to change. I didn’t know that although it made me feel uneasy at first, it would also make me feel empowered.

My mentality began to change and instead of looking to place blame on someone, I would analyze situations. First I would take responsibility for my decisions and actions and fully accept the consequences whether positive or negative. Then I would look for the lesson, what experience could be gained from that situation to handle it better the next time? This helped me to stop being a victim of my circumstances. I realized I was in control of my happiness and fulfillment. I had no one to blame but myself for the degree to which I experienced things in my life. Just as I can’t control others, they can’t control me. While it was easier to think that I was just an unlucky person with a lot of bad things happening to me, the truth is I was allowing myself to be a victim. When I placed blame on those around me, I took the power away from myself. Now that I am able to step up and accept responsibility for the choices I make, I realize that the power lies within me.


What are your thoughts on this post? Have you experienced the difference between being a victim and being the conductor? Does it feel better to be responsible and accountable for your actions even though it might be uncomfortable sometimes? I’d love to hear your story, feel free to share in the comments!

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “Teachable Tuesday|The Power of Accountability

  1. I think that it feels much better to take responsibility than to pit blame. Though, sometimes when in the moment it is hard to see it that way. On the whole though, I look at what I can do differently, what was my contribution to the event. At the end of the day, I can only change the way that I act and react, not any one else 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah it’s something I really struggled with after years of looking for a way to shift the blame off of myself. Now I can’t imagine it any other way. It’s very freeing as well which was unexpected. Good for you, that’s a great approach!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a great post! So glad to hear you are doing a coaching course! Taking responsibility for our actions is extremely important in moving forward and feeling better! Yes, sometimes looking inside rather than outside can be tough, but the growth that comes from it is worth the uneasiness. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooooh man, can that be uneasy! Especially when you’re used to letting yourself be a victim. Now I’m on the other end of that spectrum and feeling empowered and my shortcomings don’t seem so bad when I look at them as room for growth. I’m absolutely loving the coaching course! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment ❤

      Like

  3. Absolutely. It’s easier to always place blame, but you can hold yourself accountable by blaming yourself when you allow negative people into your space. I’ve learned that women (me included) don’t have defined boundaries. We allow people to push those boundaries while we keep adjusting and writing our line in the sand. When we learn that we are responsible for those actions and stop allowing others to harm us then we’re able to keep the negative people at bay.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Boundaries are very important! Depending on the personality type I think it can be men and women alike. Some people have more defined boundaries or are able to maintain theirs better than others. Funny enough we discussed this in my class last night and the men also had issues with it depending on their personality and character type. There was a table full of women that had no problem clearly identifying and maintaining their boundaries. That’s definitely a great area to explore and gain clarity in to maintain a healthy relationship with oneself. Thanks for sharing your experience Tikeetha ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep. I’m going to post about this tomorrow because women don’t usually set their boundaries until later in life after they’ve experienced some stuff. We’re taught to be polite and smile and that sometimes translates into being a walking mat for some folks.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I think the whole world needs to enter a 12 step program. Seriously though, I am working on taking accountability for myself too. It’s one of those everyday things. Pointing your finger at a problem makes you a reflection of the problem rather than part of the solution. I have found prayer to be the best activity toward learning the gravity of being grateful, and the joy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right, we can often find ourselves in the faults we see in others and problems we observe. Yes humility and gratefulness are very important aspects of doing this inner work. It can be very uncomfortable to confront but if you can go in with a humble heart and mind and come out being grateful it makes it a lot easier! Thanks for sharing Tad!

      Like

  5. The quote about putting one’s unhappiness in the hands of others due to their inability or the lack thereof in our circumstances.. the one thing I struggle with even while trying to actively speak with my own negative thoughts is the contradictory defensive mechanism that occurs, suddenly feeling the need to withdraw all entirely from ‘allowing’ so to speak, other people to enhance your life in bringing joy or sadness because you feel that is the only way for you to take responsibility for your actions and account for the goods and bad in your day. Does that make sense? haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It can be a tough, but with practice it gets better. It starts with being aware of it, making a choice to handle it differently and practicing until it becomes second nature. Don’t be too hard on yourself, be kind in action and thoughts to yourself ❤

      Liked by 1 person

Don't be shy, I'll reply ;)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s