Growing Pains | Are You Outgrowing Your Partner or Growing Into Yourself?

Relationships have always fascinated me. No two look alike, the dynamics are so different, and what works for one is catastrophic for another. I find long-term relationships especially fascinating because when you have time invested into it, you’re no longer with the same person. Sure they go by the same name and may or may not change much physically. But as time goes on, we all grow, mature, and things about us change.

I was having a conversation with my husband the other day and sharing something that was on my mind. I told him I didn’t want to be one of these couples that grew apart. You know when they go their separate ways and live different lives. Not because something bad happens but because they simply grew in two different directions. I’m at a point in my life that I’m going through a lot of shifts and growing in areas that he’s not.

He said something very interesting. He told me that it didn’t matter to him, that no matter how much I grew it wouldn’t change what we have or how he felt. He didn’t care what hobby, what business venture, or what I pursued to feed my soul. He said he loved seeing how happy I am and that I’ve found myself. I realized I thought I might be growing in a different direction. I’ve seen the changes within myself and while most of them are for the better, I have become a different version of myself. I’m more in tune with myself, have a clearer vision of what I want, and have a new-found sense of purpose.

While we might be growing at different rates and in different ways, at the end of the day that’s how it’s been from the beginning. We balance each other well because we have different strengths, different perspectives, and teach each other different lessons. I’m thankful that he accepts me for who I am and supports me the way he does. I also appreciate the life lessons I learn from him.So while it’s entirely possible for people to outgrow each other or simply grow apart, it’s also possible to grow at different rates and embrace the growth spurts. Like growing pains, it can be difficult during the process but you’re stronger because of it.


 What are your thoughts? Have you experienced growing pains in your relationship? I’d love to hear your feedback on this topic, feel free to share in the comments ❤

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4 thoughts on “Growing Pains | Are You Outgrowing Your Partner or Growing Into Yourself?

  1. This post really made me smile, right from the title. You have put into words almost exactly what has been happening in my life and my marriage. In the last few years, I have been able to turn away from my past and find my real self. I feel so different and was concerned how my hubby would react. He loves the fact that I am finding out who I am and he says that he is growing as well just watching me be happy…it is rubbing off on him. We are becoming closer as we find our own paths. I am so glad you have seen this same progression in yourself and your relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s funny because I was almost afraid that being my true self would make him not want to be with me because I am so different than before. The reality is I didn’t find myself overnight. It’s been a process and he’s been growing with me all along. It has rubbed off on him and challenged him to grow in the area that he needs to. I’m so glad you can relate and you are growing closer even as you find your own paths. My heart is so full for you guys! Sending lots of love your way ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      1. And I’m sending it back to you and your guy as well! I wanted to share something. Several years ago on our anniversary my hubby treated us to a night at a hotel, nice dinner, etc. After dinner we went into the gift shop and I saw him buying something but obviously it was a secret so I never said anything. When we got to the room he handed me this little clear plastic frame with a magnet on the back. On the front was a picture of the backs of a couple looking toward the ocean. It said, “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction”( Antoine de Saint-Exupery) {hugs}

        Liked by 1 person

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